I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
