Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
