we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
