i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
