god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
there is glitter all over my balls
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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