Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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