i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You ruined the universe
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
