I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
