I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
