is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
