Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
