There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
