Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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