I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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