I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
