Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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