Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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