god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
