ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
