Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
