Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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