Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
