...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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