So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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