To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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