Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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