You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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