There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
