would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
