Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
