I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
