After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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