If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
