Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
