call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize