Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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