Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
love makes seman taste better
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm just crazy horny about you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
