whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
