On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm really busy with my period
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