I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
