you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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