There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
