There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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