If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
