i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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