Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
