hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
