we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
