PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
