I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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