She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
