Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

people would bow to what i just did to her vagina

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(404): View more from Georgia

He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to

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(815): View more from Illinois

But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

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(903): View more from Texas

he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"

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