Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize