me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
