No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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