shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
