I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
