no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
