Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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