I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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